Meltdowns and tantrums

This Kid

Does this look like the face of a child that just had a massive, over the top, holy moly, crazy meltdown? No? Well it was.

Meltdown vs. Tantrum

All kids throw tantrums and all kids have meltdowns. So what’s the difference?

A Tantrum is when a child wants to get attention. It starts out as a choice. Spencer starts out a tantrum, almost always, by throwing his cup, toy, or food. He knows that I will tell him not to do that and try to figure out what he wants. He gets the attention and a reaction from me or some other adult. If he doesn’t get the necessary attention then he keeps it going. Starts crying, rolling on the floor, you know, the normal drama. Tantrums can end quickly, just as quickly as they start. He gets what he wants and can instantly stop crying. It’s almost comical how quickly it can end.

Then we have the meltdown. When Spence is having a meltdown he has no control over what he is doing. He appears violent, scared, and worried. He hits and kicks himself and others. He runs into things and throws things. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He can’t listen, doesn’t want anything, and it’s like he’s in a panic. Meltdowns happen for us about once a week, sometimes more and sometimes less. It’s not necessarily because of anything, although I have noticed that it often happens when Spence wakes up from a nap. He seems panicked from the time he wakes up. It might last 10 minutes and the longest has been up to an hour and a half (yes, that’s correct. 90 MINUTES!!!)

Sometimes a tantrum can turn into a meltdown if he doesn’t get what he wants in an “appropriate” amount of time (according to him).

I’ve had people ask how I deal with him hitting, kicking, and screaming. It’s not his fault and we have to remember that. Stuart and I tag team when he is home for these blessed events. Spencer hangs out in his crib a lot during a meltdown because that’s the safest place for him and me. It’s interesting how not upset I get with him. He’s sitting there hitting and kicking me, and all I want to do is hug and kiss him. Not because I’m an angel, FAR from it. But I know that he can’t help it and it makes me sad that I can’t help him. It happens, and then it ends and we go on with our day. Of course I try to avoid tantrums and meltdowns. Things like overstimulation, dislikes, and places with a lot of people and sounds (which is redundant because that’s overstimulation, but those two things are specific overstimulation. So there you have it).

So that’s life. I have to go hold the Spencer boy for his nap because he’s not into the whole nap thing lately. #mamasboy

We love you, Spencer boo!

Autism adventures

I want to use this as kind of a journal to keep track of how Spencer is doing. New words, accomplishments, and such. There also might be some complaints on here.. ya know, it happens.

So obviously, having a child with Autism makes life a little different. For example, when we go places we have to almost screen the area and make sure that it’s Spencer friendly. When he goes to a new place, he gets so stimulated that he just goes crazy. All the lights, people, colors, or anything new is very exciting for him. He just wants to run, or really, run away. In certain circumstances, that isn't a problem. But when we are at a picnic or party that is outside, it becomes a problem. He would run out in the middle of the road in a heartbeat, and would actually love to do that. He has to wander and explore, which makes socializing for him and me a little difficult. I know, I know, people are going to say that’s how all two year olds are. Yeah, I've heard it. I know he’s two and two year old boys are active and interested in the “forbidden” areas. They want to play outside and find something that they shouldn't and start playing with it. Well yes, I suppose that is true. However, Spencer likes to stay away from people. Like this week, we went to a tailgating party that would have been a blast for the average 2 year old. They had food, two bouncy houses, balls and balloons, so much to do. What did Spencer want to do? Walk around BEHIND the building and in the parking lot. This makes it a little hard to be at the party when Spencer wants to do anything but be AT the party. I’m not meaning to complain, but more explain. This is why we don’t go to a lot of birthday parties, ward socials, or other events. Even if we were to come to said events, we wouldn't really be there. It’s just so hard for him to deal with all the things that are happening around him. He’s such a curious character that he has to see everything and everywhere. It’s like the trunk-or-treating deal that a lot of churches do. That gives me a panic attack. There are cars everywhere, an open scene that he could run away, and so many people and candy. AHHH CAN’T BREATHE! Over-stimulation to the max If we go to someone’s house, he is in their closets, bathrooms, and bedrooms. He is trying to escape out the back door. He is screaming because he can’t escape and needs some quiet time. . So yes, that’s how we roll at parties. We come in, maybe say hello, run after Spence until he starts screaming, and then leave. Sorry if we seem anti-social, but that’s life! We try and that’s all you can do.

So the moral of my story, going places is hard. I know that it’s hard with all children not just those with autism, just wanted to explain what we do and how we do it.

On the positive side – He is doing so well with learning and communication.

-He can say and recognize all 26 of his letters. I love going places because he is always saying the letters that he sees. Whether it’s on license plates, signs, food labels, you name it – he’s saying the letters. When he’s lying in bed before falling asleep he’s going through the alphabet. “A, B, C, D, E..” You get it, he likes letters.

-He’s also super into numbers. He can count to 10 and does it ALL. THE. TIME. He counts when he’s taking steps, playing with trains, going up stairs, eating crackers from his tray. Counting, counting, counting! He even moves objects like he’s trying to add. Like 1, 2 shoes (spencer’s shoes) and 1, 2 mommy’s shoes. 1, 2, 3, 4 shoes.

-He likes colors, but really only red, blue, and green. He walks around labeling colors as well.

So all in all, he walks around labeling things. All day, every day. Numbers, colors, and letters.

He has about 20 words (more, please, dada, papa, boo boo, tree, shoes, show, simple words like that) Although he still doesn't say Mama – dang it! We are working on that. He still signs some, but it’s with the word. We are working on putting two words together. We’ll see how that goes.

-Animal and animal sounds – He can identify several animals and make several animal sounds. He can say cow, duck, fish, pig. He can quack, moo, and make the elephant noise (whatever that is). Anyway, that’s just a few, but we get the point.

He’s a smarty pants that likes to show off. Although I don’t know how big of a deal these things are, because I’ve lost track of what is “normal” for his age. So maybe it isn’t a big deal, but it’s a big deal for us! Love you, Spencer boo.