Meltdowns and tantrums

This Kid

Does this look like the face of a child that just had a massive, over the top, holy moly, crazy meltdown? No? Well it was.

Meltdown vs. Tantrum

All kids throw tantrums and all kids have meltdowns. So what’s the difference?

A Tantrum is when a child wants to get attention. It starts out as a choice. Spencer starts out a tantrum, almost always, by throwing his cup, toy, or food. He knows that I will tell him not to do that and try to figure out what he wants. He gets the attention and a reaction from me or some other adult. If he doesn’t get the necessary attention then he keeps it going. Starts crying, rolling on the floor, you know, the normal drama. Tantrums can end quickly, just as quickly as they start. He gets what he wants and can instantly stop crying. It’s almost comical how quickly it can end.

Then we have the meltdown. When Spence is having a meltdown he has no control over what he is doing. He appears violent, scared, and worried. He hits and kicks himself and others. He runs into things and throws things. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He can’t listen, doesn’t want anything, and it’s like he’s in a panic. Meltdowns happen for us about once a week, sometimes more and sometimes less. It’s not necessarily because of anything, although I have noticed that it often happens when Spence wakes up from a nap. He seems panicked from the time he wakes up. It might last 10 minutes and the longest has been up to an hour and a half (yes, that’s correct. 90 MINUTES!!!)

Sometimes a tantrum can turn into a meltdown if he doesn’t get what he wants in an “appropriate” amount of time (according to him).

I’ve had people ask how I deal with him hitting, kicking, and screaming. It’s not his fault and we have to remember that. Stuart and I tag team when he is home for these blessed events. Spencer hangs out in his crib a lot during a meltdown because that’s the safest place for him and me. It’s interesting how not upset I get with him. He’s sitting there hitting and kicking me, and all I want to do is hug and kiss him. Not because I’m an angel, FAR from it. But I know that he can’t help it and it makes me sad that I can’t help him. It happens, and then it ends and we go on with our day. Of course I try to avoid tantrums and meltdowns. Things like overstimulation, dislikes, and places with a lot of people and sounds (which is redundant because that’s overstimulation, but those two things are specific overstimulation. So there you have it).

So that’s life. I have to go hold the Spencer boy for his nap because he’s not into the whole nap thing lately. #mamasboy

We love you, Spencer boo!